to my chiyo, on your first birthday

June 12, 2009

Dear Chiyo baby,

Oh my goodness! You are a year old today. :) Happy birthday, baby girl! As I look at you sleeping peacefully beside me, I can't help but look back on the past year and be simply awed. :)

On the 110th year of our country's independence, I got a new dependent. The Lord wanted me to give birth to you on that day, not the 11th, not the 13th, which was what I've wanted. It actually worked in your favor, baby. I don't forget your birthday and Kuya's, coz only the numbers for the day interchange. Yun nga lang, I get confused when filling out forms. Hehehe. Dont worry, I will soon get used to it.

The first thought that came to my mind when I saw you was to admire your physical beauty. Pink lips, chubby cheeks and curly hair, you were like a doll when I gave birth to you-yes, blood and all! You were so tiny!! To think that you gave me almost 24 hours of labor only to pop out someone so little! And I remember me saying 'ang ganda', and sheding a tear, coz I couldnt believe that you came out of me, and we have you here already! I didn't want them to take you away and I was really upset we couldn't take pictures of your birth like your Kuya's. (Stupid nurse told Dada I'm far along and might give birth to you after 5pm, so when he came back from a late lunch, you were already in the nursery!) I enjoyed our first bonding time- nursing at the breastfeeding room. That was then that it dawned on me- nyah! Magkamukha pala tayo! Thank God, I have a child that resembles me. :) I also got excited with the thought of us getting a mani-ped together, shopping, doing girly stuff, watching chickflicks (your dada would later on thank you for that since I don't have to drag him anymore.) I also remembered releasing the long dormant kikay gene that I used to have before I gave birth to Kuya. It was in the breastfeeding room that I promised to take care of you and love you for as long as I live.

When I brought you home, my first thought was how your Kuya would react. He was the only kid for almost 3 years, how would he take on a 'rival' with my attention? When he woke up, I saw his face light up when he saw you. He called you 'my baby'. I remember when I was still pregnant with you and I didn't know the gender yet, I dreamed that we were in Trinoma with dada, kuya and a yaya whose face I didn't see. I was in the bathroom with the changing station and I was telling the yaya to give me something from the bag. The baby in my dream was crying but stopped when Josh said 'its ok,my baby. Dont cry, Kuya's here.' It was then that I knew that I was having a baby girl. I just remembered the dream when your kuya saw you, and I realized I prepared him well enough for the long and hard task of being a kuya.

I would always remember you being so strong, despite the many tests the doctors gave to you for your heart murmur. I always thank the Lord that the results were not that serious, that you just have a very faint heart murmur that you'll have till forever. :| I also remember when you had your ears pierced. You were crying the first time the doctor placed the earring but once I said you looked pretty, your crying stopped. Ah, you will forever be vain, and that's from your Dada's side.

As the birds start to chirp, reminding me that its morning time already, let me just give you some things to remember:

1. Keep your legs closed when you are sleeping. I've always reminded you its not very ladylike, right?

2. Don't eat everytime someone's eating! Although you are naturally payat, I'll give you that, you might end up ballooning up! But it is really funny since I've yet to discover food that you haven't liked!

3. Don't bully Kuya. You are lucky Kuya loves you, but sometimes, even if you are the little girl, you bully as if you are the Ate. :) I guess its a defense mechanism on your end. :)

4. Always behave so Mama lends you her necklaces, especially the pearls that you love so much.

5. Mama, Dada and Kuya will always love you-no matter what!

Happy birthday, darling girl! We love you!

Mama

PS: And as it was on the day I gave birth to you, its raining outside. You know what they say about raining on a special day? Infinite blessings!

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Originally written last June 11, 2009 at 6:36pm, the little girl in this letter is still kikay, still bullies her kuya and still lovable as ever. She is now two years old and is a loving ate to her baby Chomi.